8 Months

I'm kind of finding it hard to believe that I'm already 8 months pregnant and that Emily very possibly could be  here next month!  We've got her room completely ready for her, car seat adjusted back to newborn size, Eli's riding in the big boy car seat and we've even had maternity pictures made! 

We decided to do a baby package this time because we know our lives are going to be a LOT busier this time around and my friend who took the pictures of Eli is a lot busier too now that she has a baby of her own.  We have found an awesome photographer to work with us, she was amazing with Eli at our first shoot and I already feel like we're friends just from the email exchanges we've had.  Check her out on Facebook at  PhotosByMoe or her website: http://www.photos-by-moe.com/. 

Here are just a few of my favorites:

Thankful

I've seen a lot of my friends doing the 30 days of Thankfulness for November and I wanted to do it too, but considering that I forget everything right now, I know better than to think I can remember to post every day. So instead, I've decided to do all 30 at one time.  So here's my list:

1.  Thankful for a loving, merciful God who on my deepest and darkest days holds me close while I rail against Him, promising me that He loves me anyway.

2.  For my husband, who puts up with my mood swings, obsessive need to organize and re-organize while hardly getting anything truly organized, who loves me for me and who works hard day in and out to provide for his family.

3.  For 24 weeks and 6 days with Logan growing inside of me and 17 days with him in the NICU.  Also thankful to know that he is being taken care of in Heaven.

4.  For my wild, sweet, sometimes grumpy 2 year old, he has brought so much light to my life and I am thankful for each and every day I get with him.

5.  For Emily, growing steadily and currently practicing pirouettes :)

6.  For my parents who have been a huge support to me throughout my life, they are always here when we need them whether it's to watch Eli while we work or to cut dressers in half, paint rooms, sew quilts or go to a football game they couldn't care less about just to help me with Eli.

7.  For my sister and brother-in-law for countless times helping us by watching the dogs, getting us chicken and a million other things.

8.  For my in-laws who so readily made me a part of their family.

9.  For a beautiful niece and 2 awesome nephews.

10.  For 3 best friends... I know I am very lucky to have all 3 of them in my life, even if they all live too far away, any and all of you are welcome to move to Troy, AL anytime by the way ;)

11.  For all of the people I consider friends, even the ones I've never met in person

12.  For an awesome church family and a great priest who isn't afraid to address the big issues.

13.  Thankful that Doug and I both have jobs.

14.  Thankful to have a home of our own that I can paint my parents can paint crazy colors just to see if I like it.

15.  For our van that has given us the ability to travel with all of our pets or lots of people and has had no major problems.

16.  For a small neighborhood where there's not much traffic and lots of kids close in age.

17.  For the money we do have, don't get me wrong, it's not much but even though it sometimes feels otherwise, we are far from poor.

18.  Thankful to live in a free country.

19.  For soldiers who are willing to fight for our freedom and the sacrifices their families make.

20.  For our Keurig, I'm not much of a coffee drinker but I love getting a quick cup of hot chocolate with minimal cleaning necessary.

21.  For our pets, we don't get to spend nearly as much time loving on them as we used to but they're always there and happy to see us.

22.  For our dog-sitter, she has made our lives so much easier by being available to watch them while we go out of town.  It's so nice to know that they are not only being cared for with the basics but played with while we are gone.

23.  For days off during the week.  I have 4 of them this month and 8 next month.  I know I'm very lucky!

24.  For Eli's daycare.  The ladies who take care of him love him like he is theirs and their work with him and the other kids pays off hugely, since my 2 year old knows most of the letters of the alphabet, tons of songs and is well-behaved most of the time.

25.  For the people who mow the grass and clean up at Green Hills Cemetery.  We would do the work if we had to but it's so nice to know that when we go visit Logan's spot the grass will not be up to our knees and the flowers will not be spread all over the place.

26.  For my OB, she has been with us through everything, starting with Logan, was a huge support through my pregnancy with Eli and continues to cheer me on and reassure me even now.

27.  For the NICU nurses, who give so much of themselves to every baby and every family that they care for.

28.  For the March of Dimes, November is Prematurity Awareness Month so I would definitely be remiss if I didn't mention them and all of the work they do for babies and families everywhere.

29.  For our godson Brody, even though we don't get to see him often, we are so honored to be his godparents and love watching him grow on Facebook.

30.  For all of my aunts, uncles and cousins as well as my aunts-, uncles- and cousins-in-law.

Honestly, this list doesn't even begin to count all the ways I am blessed and things I am thankful for, but it is a nice reminder!

25 Weeks

It occurred to me today how rarely I have posted during this pregnancy.  I posted after all (or at least almost all) of my doctor appointments when I was pregnant with Eli.  I was so worried about the outcome of that pregnancy that every single day felt like a huge accomplishment.  This time around, it's been very different.  Not that I'm not worried, the truth is that I still worry something will happen.  But I also know that this plan works, that God has a plan for this baby and whatever it is, my doctor and I will be doing everything in our power to get Emily here safely.

Yesterday marked the day that Emily has been growing inside of me longer than Logan did.  I feel so much better knowing that we've made it this far, that even the doctor's consider her big enough to survive.  But still I know that there are no guarantees.

We've been preparing our home for her arrival, decorating her room, buying blankets, sheets, towels, clothes and bows.  We are so ready to welcome her into our lives and yet there is so much left to do.

I have my glucose test next Monday and in three weeks we will be having a 3D/4D ultrasound.  At that point I will be 28 weeks, which is when my doctor declared that we had "made it" with Eli.  I'm looking forward to hearing those words again.

So far my doctor seems pleasantly surprised with the state of my cervix so here's hoping it stays that way until January.  For some reason I have a feeling Emily is going to come on her own and have at least a decent amount of red hair, but we will just have to wait and see...

2

Dear Eli,

Today you are 2 years old... the time has absolutely flown by.  I remember the moment you were born like it was yesterday.  I was so happy to have a healthy, squirmy baby boy in my arms.  I cried so hard the nurse made your Daddy leave his spot beside you to come hold my hand, I don't think she realized they were tears of joy.

You've changed so much in the past two years.  You've grown by leaps and bounds of course, but you are (for the most part) a very well-behaved and smart little boy.  I know I've got to stop referring to you as my "baby" because it no longer fits.  You insist on doing almost everything by yourself and very rarely allow me to just sit and hold you.

I am so looking forward to seeing you grow even more in this next year.  I'm looking forward to seeing more of your personality form and to seeing you as a big brother.  I don't think you will ever understand the amount of joy you have brought your Daddy and me.  We love you so much!

Mommy

Third Time's a Charm

When I was admitted to the hospital during Logan's pregnancy we did not know what we were having.  I told them right away that I wanted to know as soon as possible.  The next day they did an ultrasound and told me we were having a baby girl, two weeks later we would find out they were wrong.  Then with Eli, Doug and I were both convinced that it was a girl, even the ultrasound tech told me she thought it was a girl early on.

But this time, we are finally getting our little girl!

I told Doug a week or two ago that I was convinced we were having a girl.  Even though all the old wives' tales pointed to a boy, I just had a gut feeling.

Miss Emily seems to be perfect for the moment.  She was measuring between 20-21 weeks and weighs about 13 oz.  We got to see both hands and feet, a four chamber heart, two kidneys, a stomach, a full bladder and a brain.  The placenta looked good and so did the umbilical cord and fluid levels.  I was honestly a little worried that something might be wrong just because I have felt her moving so strongly already, even Doug has felt her moving and neither of my boys moved this strong this soon.

She was turned into my back just like Eli and didn't want to show off her face too much but the ultrasound tech managed to get a couple of looks so we could see her profile and nose and lips.  She also made it difficult by putting her hand in front of her face most of the time.  The ultrasound tech actually asked me what I ate for breakfast because Emily was wiggling so much and when I told her I specifically avoided sugar, eating scrambled eggs for breakfast she said "You better hope she slows down before she's born or you're going to have your hands full!" 

 

I didn't tell her that full is the way I like them :)

My Crazy Life, Vol. 1

When I ask Eli for a kiss he is sometimes very willing and other times runs away or says "no no".  Whenever he refuses to give me a kiss I will give him a shocked look.  Lately when I ask for a kiss he gives his very own shocked look and laughs at me.

We've been watching a lot of Olympics as a family and while watching the diving competition a guy jumped and Doug says "That guy hardly made a splash at all, kind of like when I do a cannonball"... it's okay to laugh, he was laughing at himself :)

We were going over Eli's colors with a book that he has that shows different items and lists their colors.  Every time we got to a picture of a food item and I asked Eli what the item was he said "eats". 

Later that same day we had finished eating dinner and Eli still had some french fries on his tray.  We've tried several times to tell Eli not to give the dogs or the cat any of his food but he doesn't seem to get it.  So that night I said "Eli, don't give the cat your eats" as he was offering her his french fry.  He turned around and said "okay" and kept his food away from her the rest of the night.

This one happens quite often lately -
Eli (as he walks into the living room, sometimes with his laptop or a bag on his shoulder): "Bye"
Me: "Where are you going?"
Eli: "Bye Bye"
Me: "Okay, I love you"
Eli (running to his room): "Love you"

Everyday when I pick Eli up from daycare he insists on getting a sticker before we leave.  Lately they've taken to giving him several stickers and he stays entertained all the way home.  Just yesterday I found this when I went to get him out of his car seat:

We'll call him "creative" :)

14 Weeks

The pregnancy journey has begun again.  Starting today I will have doctor appointments every other week, until Dr. H decides to make them weekly.  My surgery went really well and she told me today that everything is healing nicely and looks exactly like she wants it.  It has been 4 years since Logan was born and from the day he was born Dr. H told me she felt like I had an incompetent cervix but that I didn't present as a "normal" incompetent cervix case.  However, after this surgery she told Doug and I that she is confident that incompetent cervix is my problem.  In a way it's hard to know that my body failed Logan and that it is because of my deficiency that he is not with us.  However, we've said from day 1 that Logan might have died to save the rest of our children and we now know that that is, at least in part, true.  It is because of his short life that I was given a cerclage with Eli and again with this pregnancy.  It's also somewhat comforting to know what the problem is and that the cerclage fixes it.

The baby's heart rate today was 152.  It has stayed around 150-160 since the first time we heard it.  I have absolutely no idea what this baby will be, guessing based on heart rates and morning sickness led me astray with Eli and this time has been different than either Logan or Eli so we'll just wait and see.  It won't be long either because my anatomy ultrasound is already scheduled for Sept. 17.

I really thought that this pregnancy would be easier.  Since I've been through all of this before, I thought I would know what to expect and not panic as easily.  I was wrong.  I feel pretty much the same way I felt when I was pregnant with Eli, scared every little twinge is the beginning of the end of this pregnancy.  I KNOW, without any doubt, that God has my little family in His hands, and that no matter what happens between now and February, we will be okay.  I just pray that means a healthy baby born in January.

So I'm asking for prayers for this baby and my sanity through the next several months.  Also, my maternal Grandma is currently in the CCU and very sick.  Please pray for her as well.