Friday, October 13, 2017


It’s been 9 days since your 7th birthday and honestly, I completely forgot about writing your birthday letter until about two days ago. And we were so busy I didn’t have a chance to do it then.  I thought about just not writing them anymore but I hope one day you read these and get a small glimpse of how much I love you, even if I did write it late. 

What a year you’ve had! You finished Kindergarten and started 1st grade.  You can read almost anything you see now and have discovered a love of math.  You have started your first grade year with all gold stars and we couldn’t be prouder.

You have fallen more in love with our caterpillars and butterflies, sometimes you’re even more enthusiastic than I am. You love American Ninja Warriors and want to start training now.  You still love Star Wars and trains and for your birthday Daddy and I built you a train room in the back of the shed.  You also love Nerf guns and had a big Nerf battle birthday which was a huge success.

You still play baseball and soccer and have also joined Boy Scouts.  You have discovered an interest in fishing and even caught a fish that we were able to make 3 tiny fish nuggets from, which you said were delicious.

Your love for your sister is so remarkable to me.  You look after her, worry about her, play with her and fight with her at times. 

You make friends easily and have made all A’s so far in 1st grade.  You have taken on more chores and now empty and load the dishwasher every day.

I am soo proud of you and of the person you are becoming.  Keep loving everyone and stop worrying about doing everything perfectly.  I love you so much!


Tuesday, June 27, 2017


Oh my sweet Logan, today you would be 9!  In all these years I've always been so grateful for the 17 days we had with you.  That's not to say I didn't wonder or think "what if?" but for the most part I have been so grateful for the time we had with you.  For some reason, this year my curiosity about who you are/would have been is overwhelming.  Maybe it's because your brother and sister's personalities are developing right in front of me that is causing these kind of thoughts, I'm not really sure.  It suddenly feels like I don't even know what to miss about you.  I mean what would your voice have sounded like?  Would you have liked to read?  Would you have liked to dress up in superhero costumes?  The thing is, I miss you everyday but I wish I had more to miss.  I wish I missed the way you curled up in a ball to sleep like Emily does, or the way you sprawled out to every corner of the bed like Eli.  I wish I knew you better so that I could miss you more. 

And yet I wonder if knowing you better, missing you more would tear me apart in a way I can't even imagine.  It's such a strange journey.  Wishing for more and yet grateful for what I was given.

Last year was pretty rough.  Nothing went the way I had hoped for your birthday so I'm very hopeful that today is different.  Please know that we love you.  Be close to me, help me to feel your presence, so I don't feel so very alone.

Love always,

Tuesday, January 17, 2017


My dear sweet Emily... I just canNOT believe you are 4 today!  You certainly have a spitfire temper when it suits you but most of the time you have the sweetest spirit.  When you're mad or in trouble you've been known to say "You don't love me anymore!", "I don't love you anymore" and "You're a bad Mommy" but when you're happy you tell us thank you for everything and when you can't remember what you were going to say you say "I love you Mommy" instead.  This morning when you saw your 4's all over the house you kept saying "Thank you for my birthday!" even to Eli :)

This year when we asked if you wanted to have a party or go on a trip you immediately said trip and knew exactly where you wanted to go... Disney World.  I've gotta tell you girl, Daddy and I didn't think we were going to be able to make that happen.  You should always know that if it wasn't for some really kind people from church it wouldn't have.  But we were blessed and got to enjoy 2 days at Disney World.  Mickey Mouse sang you Happy Birthday, you were terrified at the Tower of Terror, you met all the princesses and insisted on having cake while we were there.  You also insisted that you were already 4 and we decided to go with it :)

You have grown sooo much in this past year!  It was terrifying for us when we found out we were going to have to move you to a new daycare but Heaven Sent has truly been a blessing in your life and ours.  You have blossomed there, made tons of new friends and are learning new things all the time.  You love to sing and show off your new lessons.  You have started asking to take gymnastics so that will probably happen sometime this year.  And you are always talking about being as big as your brother.

You have so much love and you share it with everyone!  You and Ginger have a very special bond, she sleeps with you most nights.  And lately Penny has begun to bond with you too.  Animals are still your favorites but you've started playing with princesses, dolls and shopkins more too. 

This year you will start Pre-K in the fall and you are looking forward to it.  I on the other hand can already feel the emotions of watching my last baby start school.  I'm excited for you though. 

I hope you have a wonderful birthday today and a great year as a 4 year old. I am so looking forward to watching how you change in the next year.

Love always,