Monday, November 29, 2010

Work, Thanksgiving and Spiders

So today is my first day back at work.  I've only been here for about 2 hours and I already miss being home so much!

That's part of the reason I have been so emotional for the past week or so.  Which leads to the rest of my post...

Doug had to work on Thanksgiving Day so Eli and I made the trip to Birmingham alone.  I was highly upset for one reason or another so I decided to stop by the cemetary on the way out of town.  Doug and I visit the cemetary fairly regularly, but I don't believe that Logan is there so my feelings about the cemetary are that I go there to keep his stone looking nice so that everyone that visits knows how much he is loved.  I don't feel like I have to go to the cemetary to visit Logan or talk to him, I do that everyday, no matter where I am.  But sometimes I like to go out there and sit quietly.  It feels like a magnetic pull for me when I'm having a bad day. 

It was a little chilly on Thanksgiving morning and I knew I was going to be quick so I decided to leave a sleeping Eli in the van while I sat with Logan.  I cleaned his stone up like I always do and took a look at all of his things to make sure everything was accounted for and in good shape.

That was when I noticed the three granddaddy longlegs on the side of Logan's stone.  To explain, I truly believe our loved ones who have pased away can send us signs.  Lots of angel mommies I know see butterflies or ladybugs.  I think my little Logan is mischievous and, knowing how much I hate spiders, sends them to me.  When I saw the spiders, I told Logan thanks for sending them and got back in the car.

I never dreamed that Logan would send me another sign the same day, but when we sat down for Thanksgiving dinner I had Eli in a bouncy seat right beside me.  At one point I looked down to check on him and there was another granddaddy longleg walking toward Eli.  So this year I got to spend Thanksgiving with my whole family!  It may have started out as a sad day for me, but when I saw that spider I knew that we were all together.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Prematurity Awareness Day

Today is National Prematurity Awareness Day.

This year, I'm not only remembering Logan, I'm praying for two new preemies I know. Maddie was born early weighing a little over 4 lbs. She's home with her family now and doing very well. Max is a 25 weeker born around a week ago weighing just 1 lb. 4 oz.

I'm also thinking about all the wonderful NICU nurses who took such good care of Logan. I hope they know how appreciated they are.

And appreciating all the work and research that went into developing the medicines and methods that helped get Eli here safely.

All of these nurses took care of Logan so before we left the hospital we introduced them to Eli.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

37 Days

I had every intention of writing on Eli's one month birthday.  Obviously that didn't happen.  Honestly, I've been really busy.  And I'm not just talking about mothering a newborn.  The Thursday before Halloween Doug, Eli, I and all three dogs went to stay with my parents.  Doug was going to the NASCAR race in Talladega on Sunday so we stayed with them through Monday. 

The following Thursday Eli had his one month checkup.  He weighed 10 lbs. 5 oz. and was 21.5 in. long.  He was in the 50th percentile for both length and weight.  After the appointment I had to pick up, sort over and deliver over 100 Blue Jeans for Babies shirts that I sold at Troy.  I'm so glad I was able to raise so much money for March of Dimes, but it may have been a mistake to take on this task while I was on maternity leave.

On Friday my mom and I left for Kentucky.  We took the trip to introduce Eli to my two grandmothers.  We had a lot of fun.  We visited my maternal grandmother on Saturday and my paternal grandmother on Sunday. 


My paternal grandmother actually lost her first child, a boy, similar to how we lost Logan.  Because her son was born at home, she doesn't know how much he weighed or how long he was, but when we showed her the Logan doll, she said he was tiny like the doll.  My dad was her next baby, her rainbow baby as some people call them.  It's amazing to me how God has written our family story.  I mean, my grandmother's rainbow baby goes on to have a child who loses a baby in a similar way and then has a rainbow baby of her own.  And the fact that all four of those babies were boys.  He works in amazing ways!

As for Eli, he is now wearing 0-3 or 3 month clothes.  He loves to sit in his swing and watch the little mobile go around and around.  He also loves to be sang too.  He's still sleeping well at night, waking up once or twice.  He's starting to smile more and more and when we were at my paternal grandmother's house, she stuck her tongue out at him and his stuck his right back out.  He really wants to suck his fingers, but that's something I am not allowing him to do and he's getting better and better at sucking on a pacifier. 

We are going to our first football game this weekend for Troy's Homecoming game.  We probably won't stay the entire time, but we're really looking forward to seeing some friends and enjoying a great game.  I'll try to post some pictures of us at the game when I get a chance.