Third Time's a Charm

When I was admitted to the hospital during Logan's pregnancy we did not know what we were having.  I told them right away that I wanted to know as soon as possible.  The next day they did an ultrasound and told me we were having a baby girl, two weeks later we would find out they were wrong.  Then with Eli, Doug and I were both convinced that it was a girl, even the ultrasound tech told me she thought it was a girl early on.

But this time, we are finally getting our little girl!

I told Doug a week or two ago that I was convinced we were having a girl.  Even though all the old wives' tales pointed to a boy, I just had a gut feeling.

Miss Emily seems to be perfect for the moment.  She was measuring between 20-21 weeks and weighs about 13 oz.  We got to see both hands and feet, a four chamber heart, two kidneys, a stomach, a full bladder and a brain.  The placenta looked good and so did the umbilical cord and fluid levels.  I was honestly a little worried that something might be wrong just because I have felt her moving so strongly already, even Doug has felt her moving and neither of my boys moved this strong this soon.

She was turned into my back just like Eli and didn't want to show off her face too much but the ultrasound tech managed to get a couple of looks so we could see her profile and nose and lips.  She also made it difficult by putting her hand in front of her face most of the time.  The ultrasound tech actually asked me what I ate for breakfast because Emily was wiggling so much and when I told her I specifically avoided sugar, eating scrambled eggs for breakfast she said "You better hope she slows down before she's born or you're going to have your hands full!" 

 

I didn't tell her that full is the way I like them :)

My Crazy Life, Vol. 1

When I ask Eli for a kiss he is sometimes very willing and other times runs away or says "no no".  Whenever he refuses to give me a kiss I will give him a shocked look.  Lately when I ask for a kiss he gives his very own shocked look and laughs at me.

We've been watching a lot of Olympics as a family and while watching the diving competition a guy jumped and Doug says "That guy hardly made a splash at all, kind of like when I do a cannonball"... it's okay to laugh, he was laughing at himself :)

We were going over Eli's colors with a book that he has that shows different items and lists their colors.  Every time we got to a picture of a food item and I asked Eli what the item was he said "eats". 

Later that same day we had finished eating dinner and Eli still had some french fries on his tray.  We've tried several times to tell Eli not to give the dogs or the cat any of his food but he doesn't seem to get it.  So that night I said "Eli, don't give the cat your eats" as he was offering her his french fry.  He turned around and said "okay" and kept his food away from her the rest of the night.

This one happens quite often lately -
Eli (as he walks into the living room, sometimes with his laptop or a bag on his shoulder): "Bye"
Me: "Where are you going?"
Eli: "Bye Bye"
Me: "Okay, I love you"
Eli (running to his room): "Love you"

Everyday when I pick Eli up from daycare he insists on getting a sticker before we leave.  Lately they've taken to giving him several stickers and he stays entertained all the way home.  Just yesterday I found this when I went to get him out of his car seat:

We'll call him "creative" :)

14 Weeks

The pregnancy journey has begun again.  Starting today I will have doctor appointments every other week, until Dr. H decides to make them weekly.  My surgery went really well and she told me today that everything is healing nicely and looks exactly like she wants it.  It has been 4 years since Logan was born and from the day he was born Dr. H told me she felt like I had an incompetent cervix but that I didn't present as a "normal" incompetent cervix case.  However, after this surgery she told Doug and I that she is confident that incompetent cervix is my problem.  In a way it's hard to know that my body failed Logan and that it is because of my deficiency that he is not with us.  However, we've said from day 1 that Logan might have died to save the rest of our children and we now know that that is, at least in part, true.  It is because of his short life that I was given a cerclage with Eli and again with this pregnancy.  It's also somewhat comforting to know what the problem is and that the cerclage fixes it.

The baby's heart rate today was 152.  It has stayed around 150-160 since the first time we heard it.  I have absolutely no idea what this baby will be, guessing based on heart rates and morning sickness led me astray with Eli and this time has been different than either Logan or Eli so we'll just wait and see.  It won't be long either because my anatomy ultrasound is already scheduled for Sept. 17.

I really thought that this pregnancy would be easier.  Since I've been through all of this before, I thought I would know what to expect and not panic as easily.  I was wrong.  I feel pretty much the same way I felt when I was pregnant with Eli, scared every little twinge is the beginning of the end of this pregnancy.  I KNOW, without any doubt, that God has my little family in His hands, and that no matter what happens between now and February, we will be okay.  I just pray that means a healthy baby born in January.

So I'm asking for prayers for this baby and my sanity through the next several months.  Also, my maternal Grandma is currently in the CCU and very sick.  Please pray for her as well.

Kids

The first time I asked Doug how many children he wanted, we weren't married, we weren't engaged, I don't even think we had said our first "I love you's".  It was an important subject in my mind and someone who didn't want kids was someone I wasn't interested in dating.

His answer?  "One would be enough."

I laughed.  So he asked me how many I wanted.  I said 3-5.  I don't remember what his reaction was but it obviously wasn't a complete no, since we kept dating, got married, and he and I are extremely excited about this....

I am currently 11 weeks pregnant and baby is due Feb. 4, 2013.  The plan for this pregnancy is to do everything we did with Eli.  As my doctor said, it worked last time so why change anything!  So my cerclage surgery is scheduled for July 30 and I will start the progesterone shots in about 5 weeks.  Hopefully everything will go just as smoothly this time around as it did with Eli.  We would really appreciate your prayers through the next few months.

Happy 4th Birthday!

My sweet Logan,

I can't believe you are 4 years old today!  Somehow it doesn't seem like I'm old enough to have a 4 year old, I'll probably still be thinking that when you're 24.  This year has been a little easier than the last three.  Probably because your little brother keeps me so busy :)  I wish both of you were keeping me busy.

I miss you so much!  Not a day goes by that I don't think of you.  More often than not I'm wondering what 4-year-old Logan would be like.  I'm convinced you would have been calm, quiet and thoughtful.  I'm not sure if that's just an image I've projected on you or mother's intuition.  Either way, it's how I see you.

We'll be visiting your spot today, be there with us please.  I know you're always around, I see and feel you, but it'll be especially important today.


I hope you met Baby Blaze last week and welcomed him with open arms.  Maybe he'll be celebrating with you and all of your other friends today.  Wish I could be there to see it!


I love you more than words can express!


Mommy

Camera Clean-Off

Size

Clothing size has never really bothered me.  I mean sure, I'd love to snap my fingers and be able to wear a size much smaller than I do, but since that isn't going to happen, I've just never seen any point letting the number on a tag bother me.

That is until Eli came along.  Kids grow so fast and the numbers on those tags change a lot.  I remember being excited when it switched from "Newborn" to "3 months", but after that switch, it's become kind of bittersweet.  I think I actually cried when I put up the 3 month clothes to make room for the 6 months.  And 12 months seemed like a pretty big step too.  But last night, we made the biggest jump so far and I was so NOT prepared for the sudden realization that my baby is a big boy!

Last night I pulled out my stash of bigger clothes with the intention of just getting out the 24 month short sleeve shirts.  I had noticed that the 18 month shirts were getting a little small but the shorts seemed to fit just fine.  When I started going through the pile I found some shorts that were 2T and just to see how big they were I decided to have Eli try them on.  Much to my surprise they fit perfectly.  Next I pulled out a 2T shirt and had him try that on.  It was a little big on him but not swallowing him the way I had expected it too.

And it was like he knew that the shirt was some status symbol too because he wouldn't let me take it off and kept showing off in it.

Don't get me wrong, I've noticed that he's growing.  Just the other day when I was cooking dinner I turned my back for just one second and when I turned around he had a knife in his hand that I had purposely put "a safe distance from the edge".  Thankfully he was holding the knife by the handle and he only had it for a second, but it scared me to death and I got onto him about getting stuff off the counter (and then I cried thinking about all the things that could have happened).  It really made me realize how much taller he has gotten.

He talks all the time which also makes me realize how much he's growing and he's starting to sing a little bit too.  He has become completely obsessed with trains and if there is a train on the tracks across the street from daycare I nearly have to drag him to the car.  He watches Chuggington and will sing parts of the theme song whenever it comes on.

And sometimes it's the things he says that makes him seem so much more grown up than before.  A few weeks ago we got him a couple of Chuggington train toys.  The next day we were going out to eat with Doug's parents and as we were leaving he picked up one of the trains.  I asked him if he wanted to take the train with us and he said "No, two!".  He picked up the other train and walked right to the door and I just stood there, kind of amazed.

I know he still has so much growing to do and I love watching him grow and learn... but I so wish I could slow down the clock.