Today you turn 3 years old. I can just imagine you here, talking our ears off, asking to read the story one more time or watch one more episode of some cartoon show. I imagine you loving on your little brother, he loves kids so much I know the two of you would have gotten along great! I imagine the party we would have had this weekend, with lots of little kids, games and toys... making extra cupcakes to send to daycare today... waking you up this morning with a huge "Happy Birthday". The "whys" would be starting soon if not already and I can just imagine having to answer why Eli cries a thousand times a day... and how I wish I could.
The three of us celebrated your birthday yesterday with cake and of course we visited your place at the cemetery. I know you were there with us, I felt you there when the wind changed directions suddenly, blowing the balloons right to Eli when I sat him down beside your stone.
I miss you so much little boy and I know Daddy does too. So much has changed in our lives since you were born... even since your last birthday. And yet somethings will never change. There are still nights that I sleep with your blanket. Times that I cry because the loss of you hits me out of nowhere. Moments that I have to stop what I'm doing and look at every single picture of you, the cuts of your hair, your footprints. Days that I wish things were different.
Enjoy your birthday my little angel. Be close to me, Daddy and Eli today and always. WE LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH!!!!!
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I have so much more to talk about from this weekend and the days before but today is about Logan so that will have to wait for another day.
Thinking of you today sweet friend!
ReplyDeleteHey Anna, I love this sweet little letter. It seems Logan was right there with you three today and wanted to play with his little brother. Know that you are thought of during this day and the next seventeen. Much love to your family! Christie
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