Praying

One year ago today was my very last day of work before maternity leave.  I was so excited about meeting Eli soon but also nervous that something could still go wrong.  I spent soo much time praying, begging God to let me  have a healthy little boy.


Last night I found myself on my knees again, begging God again.  You see, there is a little boy named Levi who is currently fighting for his life.  He was born with a diaphragmatic hernia, basically part of the muscle which keeps our organs where they are supposed to be is missing.  This condition has caused problems with his heart and lungs.  The doctors are not giving his family much hope, but they have put their hope in the Lord and are choosing to believe that He will heal little Levi.  Last night they had a prayer vigil at the hospital and they asked those who could not be there in person to pray wherever they were.  So at 7pm, I turned off HGTV, put my phone on vibrate and prayed for little Levi and his family.


Of course, Eli is too little to understand quiet time, so he was playing with all of his toys, making tons of racket and just having a good time.  At times I had tears running down my face for this sweet family facing such a tough road.  At times I would smile or even laugh as Eli did something cute or laughed at something that only a baby could find funny.  And I thought of Logan and how I felt last year waiting for Eli.  The fears and emotions I had then came flooding back.  


When I think about this family, I remember what it was like to go to that hospital every day, to face the news (good and bad) and I remember that every single day we are given is such a blessing.  When I announced here that I was pregnant with Eli I said this:

"And for right now, I am going to take every single day as a blessing.  If I am pregnant for only 2 weeks, that is 2 weeks I get to spend with this baby.  If I am pregnant for 24 weeks and 6 days, that is 24 weeks and 6 days I get to spend with this baby.  And if I bring home a baby in 9 months and get to watch that child grow, I will be blessed for every day I am pregnant and every day of that child's life.  "

It's so true!  Every day that I hold Eli, every moment spent with him is such a blessing.  My heart is so full of love for both of my boys it seems like it can't hold any more.  It has only been recently that Eli has started to wake up without screaming before I go into his room to get him.  And on those mornings when he is awake, I hear him say "hey" when I open the door and he always has a big smile on his face.  And somehow, my heart grows a little bit bigger, just enough to let more love in.  


I don't know God's plans for little Levi but I hope and pray it involves a miracle for this family.  I hope that the doctors are amazed by what God has been able to do in his life.  But most of all, I hope Levi's family feels God's presence in this journey and that they know in every moment they are blessed because of their little boy.