My 2nd First Mother's Day

Mother's Day is this weekend and for me it is the start of the memories. Yes, I was 20 weeks pregnant by this time last year so there are memories from before but most of my memories of my pregnancy and Logan's life seem to start this time last year.

You see, last year was my first Mother's Day. I was so excited because I had just started to feel the baby (remember we didn't know the gender at this point) moving enough for others to feel as well. We spent that weekend at my parent's house because the Monday after we had our 20 week ultrasound and I was leaving for Denver for a week-long business trip after the appointment. We had two ultrasounds before this one but the 20 week one was the first where we could actually see our baby looking like a baby. It made it so real for me and I spent every free minute on my business trip looking at the pictures. I got back from Denver on May 16, 2008. One month later I was hospitalized, praying that my body would not go into labor so that my child could have a fighting chance.

So Sunday is my 2nd first Mother's Day. It's my first Mother's Day without my son. And it's going to be a very hard day. It's going to be a day that will begin a series of very hard days. So if you see me/talk to me and I'm not my normal self or you don't see me/talk to me when you expected to, know that I am dealing with a lot of "Last year on this day I was..."


On another topic, this blog was put together to further my mission to help other Angel Mommies by making teddy bears. And I want to update everyone on that mission. I have 6 teddy bears completely finished. Let me know what you think!

In addition to that I probably have 15 or so that just need to be stuffed. We took down the nursery stuff last weekend and turned that room into a crafting room for me. I'm hoping that it will help me stay organized and get more work done, but I've been so busy since we got the room ready that I haven't done any sewing at all. But the weekend's almost here and I have 5 bears cut out and waiting for me so hopefully I'll get them finished. I can't wait to be able to post a picture with 30-50 finished bears!