Oh my sweet boy! How is it even possible that six years have passed since I first looked at your precious face? This year is especially painful because all of the dates fall on the same days of the week. Plus we lost Callie just over a month ago which brought the pain of losing you back in an unexpected way.
I wanted to get out your scrapbook just the other day to take a picture of your tiny footprints and the safe was stuck. I had a terrifying moment thinking I may never see or hold your things again. Thankfully with the help of Google and a rubber mallet I was able to get into the safe. We bought a new one, one less likely to get stuck closed. We have taken every measure possible to ensure that we will always have your things, and to think that the safe we thought was protecting them might keep them from us was scary. I know they are just "things" but they are the only physical connection I have left with you.
You are always, always in our hearts and I look forward to the day I will hold you again in my arms. Until then, we will continue to remember you, and celebrate your birthday with cake and ice cream and a visit to your spot with new flowers.
I love you with all of my heart. I wish every day that things had turned out differently, that our time together didn't end so quickly. But I also know that I wouldn't be who I am if your story was different. And I know that God's plan, for you and for me, is perfect, just like you.
Please be close by my side during the next few weeks. I'm going to need all the support I can get to get through them without breaking down.
Love you,
Mom
Beautifully written.
ReplyDelete